In Defense of the Indefensible

You know how people are always posting their playlists,and trying to impress you with how clever and erudite they are? Yeah. Not me.

I freely –some might say “willfully”–admit that I have terrible taste in music. Oh,I listen to a lot of different kinds of music (most people do). Good music is like Portland –I can point you in the right direction,I like it,spent a lot of time there myself. But I don’t live there.

Case in point:you know that really terrible,cheesy dance music? The kind of stuff that 14 year-old kids play in the basement of their parents’home in Wisconsin and pretend that they’re at a rave,because they don’t know any better? Love. It.

Love it so much that iTunes,based on my recent purchasing history,thinks I’m gay.* Keeps suggesting collections like “Top 50 Cheeseball Gay Night Club Anthems,”or whatever,with a rainbow on the cover.** I don’t half think iTunes is going to send me a greeting card on the anniversary of the Stonewall riots.

I tell you what,though:if loving the Numa Numa song is wrong,I don’t wanna be right.

Nine Songs I Bought or Imported Into iTunes This Week

1. “Sick and Tired (Jason Nevins Electrochill Remix),”Anastacia
2. “Everybody’s Free (Original Mix),”Andy Whitby &Matt Lee remix,originally by Rozalla***
3. “Somnambulist,”BT
4. “Blue (Da Ba Dee),”Eiffel 65****
5. “A Little Respect,”Erasure
6. “Dragostea Din Tea,”O-Zone
7. “They Say Vision (Bastone &Burnz Remix),”Res
8. “Free Me (Dr. Octavo Seduction Radio Edit),”Emma Bunton
9. “Can’t Get You Out of My Head,”Kylie Minogue

I love this stuff for (I think) the exact same reason that everyone else hates it. I love its indestructible,relentless,teflon-coated cheerfulness. I love it for the same reason I love Hello Kitty. I love it because it makes me happy.

I love it because Everybody’s…FREEEEEEEE!!!

* For those of you who may be new to this blog,this is probably a good time to point out that I say this with love. I would totally post one of those “gay-friendly”buttons on my blog,except have you SEEN them? All the ones I’ve seen are kind of hideous,with the Gay Pride flag all chunky pixellated,like someone slapped it together in about five minutes with MS Paint. Surely something can be done about this? If you know of a tasteful “gay people are kewl with me”blog button,please let me know.

** You know what? I know people who are gay,and I know people who like this music,but I don’t know anyone who’s gay and likes this music. (Unless one of you wants to cop to it,right here,right now,in public for all to see. Go on,you know you want to! I’ll still love you,I promise.) Really though,I don’t half suspect these rainbow-bedecked compilation albums have more to do with the public’s need to make gay people less “scary”than it does with Teh Gay itself.

*** Venture Brothers,Season 2,episode 1. *snif*

**** I think it’s safe to say that I’ve spent more on this song than anyone else in the entire world.***** First I bought the album (yes!). Then I bought three different iterations of the ringtone,as I replaced one cellphone with another (which could of course play “Blue”with even better fidelity than the one before). Then I bought it on iTunes,because several years ago I gave the album to a friend who gushed over it. So far I’ve dropped about twenny bucks on “Blue.”How scary is that?

***** I have now fulfilled my quota for footnotes. Blame Lala, I picked up the habit from her.

12 comments to In Defense of the Indefensible

  • My favourite compliment ever received was from a friend who’d been subjected to hours of my mix cd’s on a Calgary-Toronto drive (40 hours plus). He said,“Kirstie,you have great taste in music. No matter what people might tell you.”

    Love the double edge. Fun music is the best music by far.

  • Hee hee…I had a (male) friend in high school who was flamingly bi,and he LOVED what we affectionately termed “gay techno.”Have you ever heard the ABBAesque by Erasure? Brilliant!

  • Ooh,“Take a Chance on Me”by Erasure is AWESOME! And I love “Blue,”though I’ve spent nowhere NEAR $20 on it. Excuse me;I must go watch “Numa Numa”now…

  • I love “Respect”by Erasure. I don’t even know any music that’s been released in the last 5 (or maybe even 10) years.

    BTW,I might consider displaying the “Safe Space”magnet logo. I worked somewhere years ago and they had this program for letting others know it was okay for them to be gay. Who knew –my boss came out to me after I put it up!

    Lots of major corporations / gov’t entities came up when I searched for “safe space”magnet.

    I like their logo –maybe it can make the jump to the blogosphere!

  • Erika

    Thanks for the tip,Kim! I like the idea,but I’m pretty sure they created their logo in Word’s native graphics editor. (i.e.,MS Paint.) I’d rather eat my own thumb than post a logo that features drop shadows,y’know? (And the gradients! Oh,the gradients!)

  • Franz

    You love Hello Kitty? That is indefensible.

    a) “Hello Kitty”is a sentence,not a name (despite the missing comma).

    b) A (female) coworker,well aware of my feelings about this,once put a sticker of one of Hello Kitty’s little friends on my monitor. It was a black,slightly “bad boy”kitty,and it was saying something in Japanese. “It’s probably something insipid like ‘Hello,how are you?’”I grumbled. And you know what? When somebody who knew a little Japanese came by,it turned out I was exactly right!

    How lame is that?

  • Erika

    Hahaha,Franz,you’re probably just jealous that I own the Hello Kitty toaster. It toasts Hello Kitty’s face on each slice of bread! (Although 1 out of 3 times when the toast pops up,there’s a loud “POP!”and a bright blue spark. It is a special occasion toaster.)

  • oh dear,now I am totally jonesing for that toaster. what a way to make morning special.

  • I too love Numa Numa. And I’m from Wisconsin. But I’m way past 14 and I don’t have a basement. And I’ve never heard of the other songs you listed because I’m a child of the 60s.

  • Franz

    I am surrounded by pod people. As soon as I got home,both my worldly,cynical wife and my even more worldly and cynical 13-year-old son cried “You don’t like Hello Kitty?!”And then said wife started reminiscing about her Hello Kitty lunchbox at school. (I had no idea Hello Kitty dates back to our childhood;I thought it appeared in the mid-nineties.)

  • Patti

    Dude,there are Hello Kitty *vibrators*. How cool is that!

  • Sharon

    I have two girls (11,5) so cheesey dance music rules our house. Matter of fact,I have introduced them to most of it . The rest they get from the roller rink. Have you heard “Barbie Girl”by Aqua? We love singing that one in the car on the way to school.