You know how people are always posting their playlists,and trying to impress you with how clever and erudite they are? Yeah. Not me.
I freely –some might say “willfully”–admit that I have terrible taste in music. Oh,I listen to a lot of different kinds of music (most people do). Good music is like Portland –I can point you in the right direction,I like it,spent a lot of time there myself. But I don’t live there.
Case in point:you know that really terrible,cheesy dance music? The kind of stuff that 14 year-old kids play in the basement of their parents’home in Wisconsin and pretend that they’re at a rave,because they don’t know any better? Love. It.
Love it so much that iTunes,based on my recent purchasing history,thinks I’m gay.* Keeps suggesting collections like “Top 50 Cheeseball Gay Night Club Anthems,”or whatever,with a rainbow on the cover.** I don’t half think iTunes is going to send me a greeting card on the anniversary of the Stonewall riots.
I tell you what,though:if loving the Numa Numa song is wrong,I don’t wanna be right.
Nine Songs I Bought or Imported Into iTunes This Week
1. “Sick and Tired (Jason Nevins Electrochill Remix),”Anastacia
2. “Everybody’s Free (Original Mix),”Andy Whitby &Matt Lee remix,originally by Rozalla***
4. “Blue (Da Ba Dee),”Eiffel 65****
5. “A Little Respect,”Erasure
6. “Dragostea Din Tea,”O-Zone
7. “They Say Vision (Bastone &Burnz Remix),”Res
8. “Free Me (Dr. Octavo Seduction Radio Edit),”Emma Bunton
9. “Can’t Get You Out of My Head,”Kylie Minogue
I love this stuff for (I think) the exact same reason that everyone else hates it. I love its indestructible,relentless,teflon-coated cheerfulness. I love it for the same reason I love Hello Kitty. I love it because it makes me happy.
I love it because Everybody’s…FREEEEEEEE!!!
* For those of you who may be new to this blog,this is probably a good time to point out that I say this with love. I would totally post one of those “gay-friendly”buttons on my blog,except have you SEEN them? All the ones I’ve seen are kind of hideous,with the Gay Pride flag all chunky pixellated,like someone slapped it together in about five minutes with MS Paint. Surely something can be done about this? If you know of a tasteful “gay people are kewl with me”blog button,please let me know.
** You know what? I know people who are gay,and I know people who like this music,but I don’t know anyone who’s gay and likes this music. (Unless one of you wants to cop to it,right here,right now,in public for all to see. Go on,you know you want to! I’ll still love you,I promise.) Really though,I don’t half suspect these rainbow-bedecked compilation albums have more to do with the public’s need to make gay people less “scary”than it does with Teh Gay itself.
*** Venture Brothers,Season 2,episode 1. *snif*
**** I think it’s safe to say that I’ve spent more on this song than anyone else in the entire world.***** First I bought the album (yes!). Then I bought three different iterations of the ringtone,as I replaced one cellphone with another (which could of course play “Blue”with even better fidelity than the one before). Then I bought it on iTunes,because several years ago I gave the album to a friend who gushed over it. So far I’ve dropped about twenny bucks on “Blue.”How scary is that?
***** I have now fulfilled my quota for footnotes. Blame Lala, I picked up the habit from her.